Marcus
Hello everyone, I am Marcus, I am 21 this year and I have autism.
I am currently studying Higher Nitec In Broadcast and Media Technology at ITE College Central. I chose this course because it is related to my hobby of editing gaming and vlog videos. Before this, I graduated with a Nitec In Mechatronics and Robotics from ITE College Central. But I decided to do something different as I was more interested in something media-related.
Younger Days
I was diagnosed at two years old with autism. I first found out I have autism when a kindergarten friend told the others to be nicer to me because I have “autism”. This made me curious about what autism is. At the age of four, my preschool teachers shared with my parents their difficulties in managing my behaviour and advised my parents to enrol me in one that is equipped to support children with special needs.
At Pathlight
Before I was enrolled into Pathlight School, my parents initially wanted to enrol me to a mainstream school, Holy Innocent Primary School, which is a few minutes walk from my house. But they are afraid that I am not able to cope there. Coincidentally, someone introduced Pathlight School to my parents and felt the school would be better for me.
I started attending Pathlight School in 2007. Initially, I felt a bit lost because I speak the Chinese language at home with my father but we were not taught Chinese at Pathlight School. Because of that, my Chinese has worsened. So I decided to pick up the language myself by watching Chinese dramas and movies with subtitles.
This developed a love for learning in me. My Chinese got better and the Pathlight teachers praised me for it as 95-97% of the students couldn’t speak their mother tongue, given that people say Chinese is the hardest language to learn. At Pathlight, the teachers were trained to handle meltdowns and the environment helped me to make friends there.
I have to admit that I didn't like Pathlight at first and demanded my parents transfer me out of the school. At that point in time, I could not figure out the reason why I hated Pathlight so much. When I was in Primary 3, I shared my unhappiness about Pathlight with my teacher but due to my immaturity, I lied to my teachers that I was from Holy Innocent Primary School and blamed my younger brother for it, saying because he is enrolled there, it is why I must be transferred out of school, but actually the fact is I wasn’t from Holy Innocent Primary School at all.
It came to the point where my teacher informed my parents about me and discussed with them about me wanting to go to Holy Innocent Primary School. Instead of scolding me for lying, my parents sat down and talked to me as they are aware of my unhappiness as I did share with them before so they are expecting this to actually happen.
But over time, I started to enjoy my time at Pathlight as I made many nice friends there. I took my Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) there and my results were good enough for me to enter Secondary School. Again, I wanted to go to a mainstream school after PSLE. But in the end, I decided to stay with Pathlight.
In secondary school, I joined Scouts and became a Patrol Leader, and participated in activities like school camp, rock climbing, kayaking, dragon boating, etc. I was nominated as a Student Councillor too and got to usher in VIPs during school events.
As a Student Councillor, I always do my best to be a good role model and always on time for school duty as I believe as a leader, responsibility and punctuality are very important values that a leader should uphold. My favourite memories were the school trips I went on at Primary 6 and Secondary 4 where we went to Beijing, China and Perth, Australia. I loved it as I could go overseas and experience life in different countries.
At ITE (Nitec)
In the blink of an eye, I took my N Level Examination and I could enter into a course at ITE. The transition from Pathlight to ITE was difficult. It took me about a year to adjust to the new environment which is mainstream. A lot of the time, I did not know where or who to turn to for help. There were also times when I would come across people who call those with autism “weird” or “retarded”, looking down on us and making comments like “You got autism you cannot one lah” or “You shouldn’t be in this world”. Even though these comments were not usually directed at me, it still hurts to hear them. I personally think that those who make such comments are very narrow-minded even if they are common. As a Child Of God, I believe it is not the fault of the neuro-atypical to be how they are, God made them special for a reason.
Over time, I learnt to behave and communicate the way others would and I also learnt to ignore the negative comments some people made. Despite the challenges, I had a teacher who was nice and approachable. He was trained to work with students with special needs and would always try to help students with debarments by giving them appeal forms to take the exams.
After 2 years, I graduated with Nitec In Mechatronics and Robotics. My GPA was good enough to enter Higher Nitec. After Higher Nitec, I was thinking of enlisting in National Service as I am graded Pes E1. It might be tough but I will not give up.
My Support Pillars
Even though my first instinct is often to rely on myself to problem-solve, I have friends and family who have provided great support to me. Since young, my parents have been working very hard every day to support the family. They also gave me opportunities to help me grow independently. I recall them encouraging me to go home by myself when I was 11 years old. I was quite nervous at first but I became more confident over time as I remembered the route home. This helped me to be more independent in travelling from place to place.
I have been rather fortunate to be surrounded by people who accepted my learning differences. My friends at church often assure me that it is okay for me to learn at my own pace and my schoolmates treat me the same even after I tell them I have autism. At church, I often try to befriend those with autism, engaging in conversations with them or simply saying “hello” to them to break the ice. As friendships develop, I meet them outside of the church as well. My friends from school are mostly from my CCA, Scouts. Through inter-school events, I got to know people from other schools and became good friends with some of them. Up till now, I still keep in contact with them.
My friends from church are also very supportive and caring, especially my Cell Group Leader. He would always listen to my problems and give me some advice. I would sometimes approach my youth pastor who has left my church to seek advice from him. He is very caring and always shows concern for youths like us.
My Interests
I have been a big fan of martial arts since the age of ten when I first watched the movie Ip Man. My grandmother also brought me to watch the Jackie Chan movie “The Spy Next Door”. Soon I became a big fan of Donnie Yen, Ip Man, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee and Jet Li.
I was very inspired by them and wished I could be like them one day. I attended Wing Chun and Taekwondo lessons but did not continue as other priorities like ITE took over. In 2020, I wanted to join back Taekwondo lessons again, but due to the Covid-19 pandemic which struck, classes were discontinued.
Career Interests
Growing up, I had different kinds of ambitions. At first, I told my parents I wanted to be a doctor. Then a lawyer, followed by an actor, then a teacher. Somewhere around in Secondary School, I have a crazy ambition, which is to become a billionaire businessman that stays in a Bungalow that can stall 6 cars and owns 2 cars (7 Seaters Mercedes car/Lamborghini Sports Car). But as I grew older, I learned that I must be flexible and not be delusional, and know what I can do and what I cannot.
Currently, I am thinking of pursuing something related to business as I generally prefer working in an office environment. It also seems like it is something that would play to my strengths and although the starting pay might be less, I believe that it is more important to pursue our interests rather than salary. To me, staying healthy and happy with our jobs seems like a more sustainable way of living.
To Others with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome
It is okay to seek help. In schools, there are avenues for you to seek help should you need it. There are teachers or staff who are trained to support students with special educational needs. Most schools also follow a discipline protocol if a bullying case is suspected.
Do not let others define what you can or cannot do. What ultimately matters is your attitude toward challenges. If you have the right attitude and the determination to make things work, nothing is impossible. Even if you do not achieve your goals at the end of the day, it is okay as long as you’ve tried your best. That is better than not trying at all!
